Chandni Akhenia

In the quiet corners of therapy rooms, where tears are shed and truths are spoken, there sits a special kind of person—the therapist. Often calm, reflective, and full of empathy, therapists are the emotional anchors for so many. But who anchors them? This blog is a tribute to the ones who listen for a living. It’s a letter, really—from one therapist to another. A moment to pause and remember: behind every reassuring nod and grounded breath, there’s a human being doing sacred, soul-stretching work. As therapists, we spend our days sitting across from people who are brave enough to share their inner worlds. We hold stories full of grief, rage, shame, love, confusion, and hope. We witness resilience in its rawest forms and silently offer safety in every session. But what we don’t often talk about is the emotional labor of being that safe space. The days when we walk out of the therapy room and feel heavy. The moments when someone’s story echoes too loudly in our own heart. The silent pres...

Our earliest relationships shape the way we love, trust, and connect with others. This pattern of connection, known as an attachment style, is formed in childhood based on how our caregivers responded to our emotional needs. As we grow, these attachment styles often follow us into adulthood, influencing our romantic relationships, friendships, and even how we relate to ourselves. Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, identifies four primary styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Each style reflects a different way of relating to intimacy, conflict, and emotional connection. 1. Secure Attachment People with a secure attachment style are comfortable with intimacy and independence. They trust easily, communicate openly, and manage conflict in healthy ways. This style usually develops from consistent, nurturing caregiving in childhood. Adults with secure attachment tend to have balanced relationships where both partners feel...

  The Good Doctor Season 6, Episode 16: 'The Good Lawyer' - A Powerful Legal Spin-off Introduction The Good Doctor has been a beacon of heartfelt storytelling, masterfully portraying the journey of Dr. Shaun Murphy (Freddie Highmore), a gifted surgeon with autism and savant syndrome. Season 6, Episode 16, titled The Good Lawyer, offers a refreshing twist by introducing a legal spin-off centered on a new, compelling character. This episode marks a significant crossover into the legal world while maintaining the emotional depth that fans adore. A Legal Drama with a Twist The episode introduces Joni DeGroot (Kennedy McMann), a young, brilliant lawyer living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Joni is hired to defend Dr. Shaun Murphy in a malpractice case, bringing a fresh perspective to the series. Her meticulous attention to detail and unique way of processing information make her an intriguing parallel to Shaun, allowing for an engaging narrative filled with challenges, gr...

  Adolescence is a time of change, confusion, and self-discovery. It’s when young people start to shape their identities, struggle with emotions, and search for a sense of belonging. Netflix’s Adolescence captures these experiences in a way that feels raw and real, shining a light on the silent battles many teenagers face. As a psychologist, I see this series as more than just entertainment—it’s a mirror reflecting the challenges of growing up in today’s digital world. The Double-Edged Sword of the Internet One of the most striking aspects of Adolescence is how it portrays the internet as both a place of connection and a source of harm. Online communities can be supportive, but they can also pull vulnerable teenagers into toxic spaces. The show highlights how certain online groups—like those promoting misogynistic or extremist views—target young boys who are searching for identity and validation. Teenagers are at an age where they are easily influenced, and the need to fit in can m...

Imagine having 37 tabs open in your mind, five of them crashing, and amidst all that, you’re still trying to remember if you defrosted the chicken. That’s the reality of the mental load—the invisible, exhausting weight of managing life’s endless to-do list. It’s not just about completing tasks; it’s the ongoing responsibility of planning, anticipating, and ensuring everything runs smoothly. The mental load is an often-overlooked burden that disproportionately falls on women. It’s the silent, behind-the-scenes effort of tracking schedules, managing household needs, and being the emotional backbone of a family. Women are frequently the ones remembering doctor’s appointments, planning meals, organizing school events, and ensuring social engagements run smoothly. Even when others are physically involved, the responsibility of coordination and oversight often remains on their shoulders. Beyond logistics, women also carry the weight of emotional labor—being the ones to check in on family m...

The dawn of a new year often brings promises of change, resolutions, and a renewed sense of purpose. While it’s tempting to focus on career goals, fitness regimens, or financial milestones, how often do we pause to prioritize our mental health? The start of a new year is an ideal time to reflect, reset, and realign—not just externally, but internally as well. After all, your mental well-being is the foundation upon which every other goal is built. Mental health often takes a backseat in the hustle of resolutions. Yet, it’s the anchor that steadies us through the highs and lows of life. The New Year offers a golden opportunity to break free from patterns of neglect and embrace practices that nourish the mind and soul. Instead of resolutions that exhaust or overwhelm you, why not set intentions that foster peace, balance, and self-care? One way to begin is by setting realistic and compassionate goals. Ditch the all-or-nothing mindset that so often accompanies New Year’s resolutions. In...

Have you ever caught yourself replaying a mistake in your head, analyzing every misstep with brutal precision? Or perhaps you've found it easier to offer kindness to others while reserving the harshest judgment for yourself. Self-criticism, though often masked as a motivator, can be a relentless force that erodes self-esteem, stifles growth, and clouds our perception of worth. At its root, self-criticism stems from a desire to do better, to achieve more, or to avoid failure. It whispers promises of improvement while simultaneously anchoring us in feelings of inadequacy. Instead of inspiring us, it often leaves us stuck in a cycle of guilt, shame, and self-doubt. The truth is, self-criticism is not the key to success or happiness—self-compassion is. Imagine speaking to yourself the way you would to a close friend. If a friend stumbled or made a mistake, you wouldn't belittle them or highlight their flaws. Instead, you'd offer understanding, encouragement, and reassurance. So...

In a world that glorifies being busy, saying "no" can feel like an act of rebellion. We're conditioned to say "yes" to every opportunity, favor, or invitation, believing that agreeing to everything is the mark of a kind, capable, and successful person. But while saying "yes" might open doors, it can also leave you overwhelmed, exhausted, and disconnected from your true priorities. The art of saying "no" is not about shutting out the world; it's about protecting your mental space so you can show up fully for what truly matters. Imagine your mental energy as a jar of marbles. Each commitment, whether big or small, costs a few marbles. If you keep giving them away without replenishing the jar, you’ll eventually run out—leaving you drained and unable to care for yourself or others. Saying "no" is like keeping some of those marbles for yourself, ensuring your energy and focus remain intact. It’s a radical form of self-care that allow...

In a world where productivity often takes precedence over well-being, mental health can sometimes feel like a luxury instead of a necessity. We live in a society that celebrates hustle culture—ticking off endless to-do lists, meeting impossible deadlines, and sacrificing sleep for success. But at what cost? Imagine a thriving garden that is never watered or nurtured. Over time, it wilts, no matter how beautiful it once was. Our mental health is much the same; it requires care, attention, and, above all, prioritization. Your mental health is the foundation for everything in your life: your work, relationships, creativity, and even your physical health. When your mind is calm and cared for, you are better equipped to navigate life's storms. But neglecting it can lead to burnout, anxiety, depression, and even physical illnesses. The mind and body are deeply interconnected, yet we often forget to tend to the mind while rushing to meet external expectations. Think of it this way: You w...

Starting therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown. Whether it's your first session or you’ve been in therapy for a while, you might find yourself wondering if you're doing it "right." Thoughts like, "Why can't I say what I’m feeling?" or "Is it weird that I’m crying?" are incredibly common. But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t about perfection. It’s about exploration, vulnerability, and progress – all of which can be messy, and that’s okay. In fact, the things that make you feel uncomfortable or uncertain in therapy are often the most powerful parts of the process. Let’s dive into some of the experiences that are perfectly normal in a therapy session. One of the most common experiences is crying, and it can come without warning. Sometimes, emotions you've been holding in for weeks, months, or even years surface in the therapy room. Tears may flow as you talk about something painful, or they might surprise you even when you’re unsure w...

"I have myself before I have anybody else" These simple yet profound words encapsulate a truth that resonates deeply within each of us. In a world where we are often encouraged to prioritize the needs and expectations of others, it's easy to lose sight of the importance of self-love and self-care. However, understanding and embracing this concept can be the key to unlocking true happiness and fulfillment in our lives. Think about the last time you boarded a plane. Before takeoff, the flight attendants always instruct passengers to secure their own oxygen masks before assisting others. This analogy beautifully illustrates the essence of the quote. Just as we must take care of ourselves first in an emergency situation, we must also prioritize our own well-being and happiness in our day-to-day lives. But what does it really mean to have ourselves before anybody else? It's not about being selfish or self-absorbed; rather, it's about recognizing our own worth and nurtu...

Closure is like stitching up a wound in your heart. It's about finishing what was left undone, letting go of the "could haves," "should haves," and "would haves," and finding peace within yourself. Sometimes, we carry around baggage from the past, burdens that weigh us down and keep us from moving forward. But closure is the key to unlocking the chains that bind us to our pain. One of the hardest parts of the closure is facing the things we wish we had done differently. We all have regrets, moments we wish we could go back and change. But dwelling on the past only keeps us stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame. Closure means accepting that we can't change the past, but we can learn from it. It's about forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and understanding that we did the best we could with what we knew at the time. Closure is also about rebuilding bonds that may have been broken along the way. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes they ...

Heart: You know, Mind, love is often described as something simple and pure – "love is love," they say. But deep down, I wonder, is it really that simple? Are we complicating something that should come naturally? Mind: Ah, Heart, you bring up a fascinating point. Love is a complex emotion, a blend of feelings that can stir us to our core. And yes, while the idea of "love is love" sounds straightforward, our interpretations and experiences can certainly complicate matters. Heart: That’s true. It's like there's this hidden cheat code to love, something that could make it easier to navigate. But does such a code really exist? Mind: Well, Heart, I believe that while there's no magic formula, there are certain indicators that guide us toward recognizing true love. Take, for instance, the difference between love and simply liking someone. Heart: Absolutely. Liking someone is great, but love goes deeper. It's about being entirely comfortable with wh...

  Overthinking is like a Torture overpassing. It's hell to be stuck with a constant series of discomforting thoughts in your head. Over-thinking is like a slow poison. The brain is complicated; you have to think of not thinking about something in an attempt to think about something, to avoid thinking about it. It is desperate. We are overthinking since we are desperate creatures chasing answers. We like certitude and we like to be in charge. Don't worry its tactical aspect of human existence.   At any specific stage in life our thoughts can be driven in such a way that our view of the same set of circumstances changes from bright sunny to gloomy and thundery. And then, as we slip the sly  slope  of overthinking, our minds are overflowing with attacks like that. I’ve never thought about this," you probably might say this to yourself. So let me get this straight: You’re constantly thinking, but you're never thinking of how much time your feelings sound like an addictio...

  Ever been in a situation wherein you  have  everything yet  you feel that there is some part missing. A void, a gap that needs to be filled even when you have achieved whatever you wanted but still it feels like black hole as massive as a cliff. It feels like a desolate place within. In simple words, you feel hollow. You’re struggling to make sense of everything but you seem not to be able to do so because it's all rolled together in one huge plate. If you're trying to sort things out this pile will smash you underneath its power. You’ll always drown in such chaos. Therefore, you keep things as they are in expectation that they will evolve miraculously. Yet rarely will they. So the pile, with all the stuff that you're trying to undo, just explodes like gas particles and you're left wondering where you've gone horribly wrong. You encounter so numerous 'ifs' and 'maybe' and 'loopholes' that your head begins to spin and the pathway beyond tend...

For people feelings and emotions are very much the same. So naturally, we would perceive them as synonyms; two words with same meaning. However, they are dependent on each other, emotions and feelings are different things. Emotions describe physiological state and generated subconsciously. Usually, they are bodily responses to certain events. By contrast, feelings are basically subjective experiences of emotions driven by conscious thoughts and reflections. Which states we can have emotions without having feelings, however, one simply cannot have feelings without having emotions. Sounds complicated enough? Emotions... How should i describe them? A roller coaster ride? Or maybe explosion of liquids in our body mentally Or the way I explained it above. Though we know our mind and heart are located at different places BUT they are intimately connected, Too much science Huh (Difficult). Let's keep it simple because we complicate things. So, A roller coaster sounds perfect. Emotions, ...

Dark side. A dark side of life we usually hide. Hiding the pain behind the smile. Happy pictures on social media. Smiling bright in the morning but heavy rainfall on the pillow every night. Light bags and heavy hearts. The "I don't care" attitude but deep down sobbing. A dual life which we all live in. Punishing ourselves. Giving up on things. When it's 2am and sliting of wrists and your world is crashing upside down like never before. Sitting on the bathroom floor and crying. Crying out loud but no noise is heard. A bleeding heart but no one can see. No wonder what a relationship can make you do. And a broken relationship can break you. SILENTLY. And that's the point when we start hiding our sorrows behind the smile and at some point you start missing yourself the old one you use to be the happy go lucky. How that one pink little bubble bursts and pushes you on a bed full of thorns. You become numb. Heartaches hurt but it doesn't heal easily it takes time. A ...

Don't you think that you are too fat for this dress? God you're so skinny just like a matchstick. You have so many curves. You don't have curves. You have too much flabs you need to reduce your weight. All of us might have got such a comment many a times.  Why do we crictize someone's body so much? Are you perfect? Obviously NOT. Actually no one is. We all have flaws. Do we still need to be taught that BODY SHAMING IS NOT RIGHT?  Being fat won't make you ugly nor being skinny would make you feel that.  But yes, our comments make them feel so.  Our comments make them feel ugly or hate themselves.  Being fat, skinny or curvy is not a crime. It’s just how their body is, If they are comfortable in their skin why do we need to give them opinions you need to reduce or you need to eat more.  When you call someone fat or skinny you don’t make them comfortable in their own skin.  Just because you have a thigh gap or a toned stomach doesn't mean you are pretty o...

She lost everything. Even herself. She had nothing to lose. That's when she became fearless. Because she had nothing. She started gaining her confidence slowly and steadily. She started to smile again.  She started being happy from within and that's the point when she started to join the broken pieces. Though she did build a wall around her heart, so that no one could enter. But she was getting better with time. Because she knew he wouldn't come back. She was fallen apart. But she was rebuilding herself.  She knew letting him go will be the difficult but holding on would hurt her way more so she decided to let him go. She started to forget him just like another chapter of life which taught her a lesson. The lesson she would never forget. With time she gradually grew her spirit and  gained confidence. She thought that her smile won't come back but gradually it did.  Eventually she started to forget him, yet there was a soft corner for him in her heart. Broken in piece...

And the little girl who wished to be happy like before couldn't be the same ever again. That little girl Diminished. Forever. She Broke with the innocent little girl who she was. She was broken in such a way that the innocence in her died. But she kept trying to move on. She just couldn't do that. She kept on trying that's when she understood what attachments do. It makes difficult for the person to move on whom you love the most. Someone has correctly said “Attachments only look good with emails.” She thought he wasn't like other guys. She thought he was different. She was so attached to him that day by day things got difficult for her. Crying all day. Just thinking about him. She didn't want to be proved as a weak girl, so she always kept her head high with a big smile on her face even to her soul was tired. A smile which was fake. She wasted every night crying and hoping that he will come back someday. Every night it used to rain on her pillow and every morning s...