What’s Completely Normal in Therapy: Embracing the Messiness of Healing

Starting therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown. Whether it's your first session or you’ve been in therapy for a while, you might find yourself wondering if you're doing it "right." Thoughts like, "Why can't I say what I’m feeling?" or "Is it weird that I’m crying?" are incredibly common. But here’s the truth: therapy isn’t about perfection. It’s about exploration, vulnerability, and progress – all of which can be messy, and that’s okay. In fact, the things that make you feel uncomfortable or uncertain in therapy are often the most powerful parts of the process. Let’s dive into some of the experiences that are perfectly normal in a therapy session.

One of the most common experiences is crying, and it can come without warning. Sometimes, emotions you've been holding in for weeks, months, or even years surface in the therapy room. Tears may flow as you talk about something painful, or they might surprise you even when you’re unsure why you’re crying. This is normal and healthy. Therapy provides a safe, nonjudgmental space where emotions can be fully expressed, and crying is part of that healing process. It’s a sign that you’re tapping into something important, and your therapist is there to support you through it.

Another thing that often happens is silence – those long pauses where you’re not sure what to say next. Many people feel awkward about these moments, but they’re actually a vital part of therapy. Silence allows you to reflect, gather your thoughts, and dig deeper into what you’re feeling. Therapy isn’t a race, and there’s no pressure to fill every moment with words. Taking time to sit with your thoughts, even in silence, can lead to meaningful breakthroughs.

It’s also completely normal to feel like you don’t know what to say. You might come to therapy with a lot on your mind but struggle to express it in words. That’s okay. Therapy is a process, and it’s your therapist’s job to help you untangle those complex thoughts and feelings. It’s not about saying the “right” thing – it’s about showing up and allowing the process to unfold, even if that means starting with “I don’t know how to explain this.” The journey of self-understanding takes time, and it’s normal to feel stuck or unsure along the way.

Another common feeling in therapy is nervousness, especially at the beginning. Opening up about your innermost thoughts can be intimidating. You might feel nervous before each session or worry about being judged. Rest assured, therapy is a judgment-free zone. Your therapist is trained to help you feel comfortable, and it’s normal for it to take time before you fully open up. Don’t rush the process – therapy works best when you go at your own pace.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that therapy isn’t always about quick solutions. You might leave sessions without immediate answers, and that’s okay. The goal of therapy isn’t to fix everything in one session – it’s to make progress over time. You’re building self-awareness and learning to navigate your emotions, which can’t always be done in a straight line.

In the end, therapy is about embracing the messiness of being human. Crying, silence, nervousness, and even not knowing what to say – these are all part of the journey. There’s no right or wrong way to do therapy, and every emotion you feel in the room is valid. Healing takes time, and the path is often full of twists and turns. What matters is that you’re showing up, engaging in the process, and giving yourself the space to heal.

Get in touch at @psychologistchandni for therapy sessions that help you embrace your healing journey.